Why I’m Not Sweeping a Parade Square

Read Article

I’m in the military, and during a routine inspection, I came to the realization of just how screwed I was, only seconds before everybody else did. While these are standard, weekly, not-so-special, inspections, you don’t want to be the poor sap that screws up; because you have to understand, football field sized parade squares don’t sweep themselves. To make things worse, our strict Master Warrant Officer was inspecting us of all days.
I’m fairly new to this mobile phone thing, and being the idiot I am, forgot to kill the ringer. Now normally a fellow would remove the phone, turn off the ringer, return it to his pocket and stand there for the next twenty minutes, while he verbally gets his head ripped off. I took a different approach and proceeded to fire my phone forty feet across the shop floor outside of audible range. He was so thrown back by the fact I launched my four hundred dollar smartphone half way to Mars that by the time he finished storming toward me, he said nothing, and continued the parade.
Everybody in the shop is now buying an OtterBox case for their phone.

FYI: phone is fine, and never doubted it wouldn’t be.